A confession: in keeping with the continuity of this blog I would have preferred to have kept to the single word themes for a title, but I couldn't think of a one-word title to convey the same meaning. This phrase: sparring partner, usually would refer to boxing: a training partner who would spar (fight training in match style conditions) with the contending fighter in an effort to prepare them for the big fight they would be leading up to. It can however be used in any context in which a spirit of competition is used to improve the participants skills in a pressurized environment - from the pugilists referred as above to comedians sharpening their skills by trying to one-up each other at an open-mic night.

The relationship between sparring partners is a fragile one. A friendship cannot be too close, as it will risk each person not quite giving their all in an effort not to injure their friend. This would limit the utility of the exercise. Sworn enemies also doesn't work though, as emotions lead to poor decisions and again reduce the effectiveness of the training sought. The sparring mates need to be "frenemies" as it were; people who are loosely associated so that there is not too much caring or animosity, but an ability to have emotion and relationship aside to work on the skills in question.

People with whom to spar don't necessarily have to be formally selected either. As an example, when I would attend fitness classes at the gym (think boot camp style) I would often find myself unconsciously (at least initially) comparing myself to others in the class, turning things into a competition. "Who looks to be the fittest here?" or "who have I seen before who is at a similar level to me?" would often run through my head. While no one was keeping score (except me) I would constantly be trying to do one more rep, run faster or jump higher than my opponent (who were normally unaware). This was then supercharged if the workout involved pairing up, when you can't help but directly compare yourself to your partner. On other occasions when I didn't identify someone (either everyone was far fitter than I, or the opposite) I found my motivation to be less and although I would still feel like I was training hard, my efforts were never quite as good.

I was listening to a podcast recently, featuring successful businessman Patrick Bet-David where he talked about the utility of a sparring partner (although he referred to them as an enemy). He referred to some of the most successful people in business, sports (think Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods) and other areas who would go to great lengths to even make up rivals to compete against - pushing themselves to greater heights (Jordan is famous for creating fictional slights from opponents to stoke his competitive fire). This stopped the temptation to bask in the glory and complacency of past success, giving a greater goal and achievement to push towards. This is also the case with companies - Woolworths and Coles, Target and Kmart (at least until one buys out the other!) are but a few examples. While it is important to have friends/loved ones that support the ego and build up confidence for us to take on new/difficult things (see encouragement) the sparring partner allows testing; knocking off rough edges and developing refinement of our character or abilities.

While many people want life easy with as little resistance as possible, in reality people need competition to achieve their highest ability. It allows for a testing of abilities, identifying strengths or more importantly weaknesses to address, and develops the subject into a more well-rounded individual. Find yourself a sparring partner (even if they don't know this) and you will find yourself pushing harder and leaping higher.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" Prov 27 v 17